Grief can be an overwhelming and isolating experience, but there are ways to cope with it and find support. Here are some steps that may help:
Allow Yourself to Grieve: Grief is a natural response to loss, and it’s important to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise. It’s normal to experience sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
Practice Self-Care: Grief can be physically exhausting. It’s important to take care of your body by eating well, staying hydrated, getting rest, and engaging in gentle physical activity. Try to find small moments of comfort, whether it’s through a walk, reading, or a favorite activity.
Give Yourself Time: There is no timetable for grief. It can be a long and unpredictable journey. Be patient with yourself and recognize that healing doesn’t mean forgetting the person or thing you’ve lost. It means learning to live with the loss in a new way.
Express Your Feelings: Writing in a journal, creating art, or engaging in other forms of expression can help process your emotions. Sometimes, when words are hard to find, expressing grief through creativity or rituals can provide comfort.
Honor the Memory: Find ways to honor the person or situation you’ve lost. This could be through a memorial, a personal ritual, or even by carrying forward a lesson or value they taught you.
Additional resources that may helpful include:
Professional Help: A licensed therapist, grief counselor, social worker or psychologist may be helpful when processing the complex thoughts and emotions associated with grief. Psychiatrists, primary care providers, and psychiatric nurse practitioners may be of help with the physical symptoms of grief including insomnia, panic attacks, and depression.
Support Groups: Organizations such as hospice have support groups which are often led by someone who has experienced the grieving process. Many supports are now virtual for those who may not be ready to leave home.
Faith Groups/Counseling: These groups can assist with integrating faith into the grieving process.
Community Resources: Senior centers, hospitals, funeral homes, or local board of health may offer grief support or organizations that may be helpful.
Grief Specific Groups: Compassionate Friends has chapters in each state and offers groups for bereaved parents. Groups exist for grief associated with death by suicide, murder, spousal loss and military loss.
Resources for Parenting Children with Attention Deficit Disorder
Parenting a child with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) can be challenging, but with the right strategies,
it is possible to create a supportive and positive environment. Here are some helpful parenting tips:
Establish Structure and Routine
Consistency is key:
Children with ADHD thrive in structured environments. Create a daily routine for tasks like homework, meals, and bedtime. Stick to this routine as much as possible.
Visual schedules:
Use calendars or charts with pictures to help your child track daily activities. A visual guide can help them understand what comes next and reduce anxiety.
Set Clear Expectations and Rules
Simple, clear instructions:
Break tasks down into small, manageable steps. Provide one instruction at a time, and use direct, simple language. Make eye contact and use gentle touch when trying to get your child to perform a task, i.e., “Let’s get your shoes on.”
Positive reinforcement:
Praise good behavior frequently. Offer immediate rewards for positive actions, like completing a task or following instructions.
Use Positive Discipline
Stay calm:
It’s important to maintain control during challenging moments. Avoid yelling or harsh discipline, as it can worsen behavior and feelings of frustration.Remember: Emotional dysregulation is a symptom of ADHD and as parents, we are the role models for healthy ways to re-regulate, such as taking a break, counting, stepping away from the situation, etc.
Natural consequences:
Allow your child to experience the natural outcomes of their actions, when possible. This helps them understand the consequences of their behavior, i.e., forgetting to turn in homework or assignments. Let them experience the consequences as a way to develop future problem-solving skills.
Focus on the effort:
Praise the effort rather than just the outcome. This encourages perseverance and helps build self-esteem, i.e., “I notice how hard you are working on this project” or “Even though your team lost the game, I can tell how hard you tried.”
Limit Distractions
Create a quiet space for tasks:
Designate an area for homework or activities that require focus. Minimize distractions such as electronics or background noise.
Use timers:
Short, timed intervals (e.g., 10-15 minutes) can help children focus better. Use a timer to keep track of time spent on tasks and take breaks after each interval.
Encourage Physical Activity
Regular exercise:
Children with ADHD often have excess energy. Physical activities like sports, biking, or even walking can help them release energy and improve focus. In head-to-head studies with medication, exercise is the BEST treatment for ADHD.
Movement breaks:
Incorporate short breaks throughout the day to help them move and reset, especially during homework or long tasks.
Model and Teach Emotional Regulation
Role-model calm behavior:
Show your child how to manage frustration or disappointment by modeling calmness and patience.
Teach coping strategies:
Help your child develop skills like deep breathing, counting to ten, or taking breaks to calm down when they feel overwhelmed.
Provide Positive Attention and Connection
Quality time:
Spend one-on-one time with your child doing activities they enjoy. This helps strengthen your bond and provides an outlet for your child to express themselves.
Encourage social interactions:
Arrange playdates or group activities to help them practice social skills and develop friendships.
Work with Professionals
Therapists and counselors:
A therapist can work with your child to address emotional or behavioral challenges and teach them coping strategies.
Collaborate with teachers:
Maintain open communication with teachers to ensure your child’s needs are being met at school. Consider developing an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or a 504 plan for extra support.
Prioritize Sleep
Establish a calming bedtime routine:
ADHD can make it difficult for children to fall asleep. Set a consistent bedtime and establish a calming pre-bedtime routine (e.g., reading, listening to calming music).
Limit screen time:
Reduce exposure to screens before bedtime, as it can interfere with sleep quality.
Self-Care for Parents
Take breaks:
Parenting a child with ADHD can be overwhelming, so it’s essential to take time for yourself. Try to take breaks when possible and seek support from family or friends.
Seek support groups:
Joining a support group for parents of children with ADHD can provide emotional support and helpful advice.
“Remember, every child is different, and what works for one child may not work for another. It’s essential to be patient, flexible, and willing to adjust your strategies based on what works best for your child.”